I’M NOT PERFECT!
PHEW! Oh it feels SO much better to get that off my chest! Now that we have put that out there I can speak the truth.
I am VERY proud of myself for the changes I have made in my life. I look back and remember the horrible habits I had at my biggest and I almost make myself throw up in my nose thinking about it. While most of the bad habits; Venti Hot Chocolates and two scones from Starbucks, Fast food multiple times a day, my own bodyweight in mashed potatoes… shall I go on? While those are all gone I would by lying if I said I haven’t found a few other bad habits along the way.
Since starting to train differently and eat differently, I started modifying habits in order to slowly get rid of the habits all together. Most of them have been kicked to the curb but there are a few that I’m still trying to work on. Since training I have found a love of Caffeine! Oh my goodness sweet, sweet caffeine! Caffeine pills, coffee, pre-workouts… I Love them ALL! Not only that but artificial sweeteners have found a place in my life as well. These are the two BIGGEST habits I need to get rid of. I can’t imagine the sweeteners doing ANYTHING good for my body and the caffeine, while it gives me a good kick and helps get me through a tough workout after a LONG day of work, can’t be doing anything good for my body either! They need to change.
Let’s be honest with each other shall we? I feel that we are in that place. This lifestyle is HARD! It is such a drastic change from where I used to be. 4 years ago I had NO control at all over what I was eating, 2 years ago I was eating just healthier and better foods to lose the weight and now I’m painfully controlling over what I eat to the OUNCE and know the caloric value of every single thing that goes in my mouth. I know that that is the reason that not every single person in the world is able to sustain this type of lifestyle. While it is a struggle, while I have days that are really hard, days where I miss the sugar, the fatty, greasy, salty, fried foods so much that I can almost taste them I HAVE to keep telling myself that I deserve this. I OWE this to myself. I have come too far to give into the bad habits that try to find me. There will ALWAYS be temptation and it is so easy to give into that temptation but I think my real strength and gift to myself is resisting that temptation and proving to myself that I am better, stronger and more powerful than the temptation that looms over us like a creepy mouth breather at a night club.
I have to change the way I see this lifestyle and instead of seeing it as things I CAN’T have… or things that I’ll NEVER eat again I need to see it as things that I CAN have. New tastes, textures and types of foods that I may never have experienced before. I know what French fries taste like, I know what a Blizzard from the Queen tastes like but there are so many fresh, organic and healthy foods out there that I have never experienced that I need to start adding into my life to make this feel like an even BETTER lifestyle than it already is.
Yesterday, I realized that I have had chicken to eat every single day for the last year… while chicken is a great food and I can cook it like a BOSS, there is more to this lifestyle than just eating chicken. It doesn’t have to be chicken and eggs… it can be as creative as I can make it! That makes me excited to keep pushing, keep changing and make those old habits die hard!!
PROGRESS PICTURES BELOW! These are as of today. Not quite where I want to be this close to the competition but I’m not going to give up. I’m going to keep pushing myself.