Monthly Archives: May 2015


The famous line goes “ready or not…here I come.”  Well here and now I’m changing it…GET  READY…HERE I COME!

I have spent a lot of time over the last two days in my own head, away from social media and the outside world and really just focusing on me and my thoughts and my body.  I’m ready to tackle this stage head-on and celebrate  my transformation.

Yesterday was my LAST back workout (it was back/bis but I have one more arm day next week).  I was exhausted after work and decided to blaze before the gym and had an EPIC jolt of strength and energy.

Assisted pull ups (100)

Barbell Curls

T-Bar Rows

superset with Meadows Rows

Shrugs (squeeze at the top)

Hammer Curls

Wide grip Lat Pull Downs

Pull overs

Cable Bicep Curls (10×10)

High Pulls

Seated Cable Rows (under hand grip)

Face Pulls

Face pull bicep curls (not sure what they are really called but I use the handle on the cable and pull it toward my face  while standing parallel to the cable and squeeze the bicep)

Hoist bicep curls (10×10)

Cable Shrugs

One hour of cardio in the AM / one hour of cardio after my lift and i finished my routine yesterday!! YAY!!!


Today was an hour this morning: 30 minutes on the elliptical and 30 minutes on the bike followed by 30 minutes of posing.  It was during posing that I really started to see my body and see how far it has come.  I am starting to see striations and muscle definition that I’ve never noticed before.  Dare I say it…I think things are starting to come together.

I have put together my peak week plan, diet and to-do list and will focus on fine tuning that this weekend.  Today, I’m going to spoil myself after the gym and hit King Spa for a soak and scrub down.  AND!  my suit is supposed to come today!  YAY!!!!


Energy levels are a little low so I apologize for the less than hilarious posts recently… I never realized how exhausting my personality is haha!  Takes a lot of energy!

I’m feeling good though!!  I’m feeling strong, WAY more confident than at the beginning of the week.  I think staying away from social media for the next few days will be my best bet… I KNOW i’ve said that before but you know… it’s like mind crack to scan through the hot eye candy on instagram!  haha

I’m ready to take these last few days on!!  I’m SO excited for the show I am just about bursting!!!  Or that could be the water haha!!


Stay tuned!

9 Days…There will be doubt

There were SEVERAL things that I knew coming into this experience:

1.)  I’ve never done this before and this is a WHOLE new adventure

2.) I have NO clue how my body will do in a “contest prep” situation when it has to be under the gun in terms of losing fat.

3.) No body knows my body better than I do.

4.) My body will NOT look how I am expecting it to look on the day of the show.

5.) This will be the hardest, most rewarding experience of my entire life to date.

Number four has been a bit of a tough pill to swallow (like I’m not already taking enough!).  In my mind, I want to get on that stage and look like Dana Linn Bailey and just blow everyone’s minds with how vascular, muscular and striated I look.  I want to look in the mirror and blow my own mind with how lean I was able to come in and how much muscle my body has maintained during this process.  Since day ONE, I have said that I JUST want to be proud of what I look like on that stage.  I’m still not quite there yet.

I know that my body will not be perfect (my version of perfect) 9 days from now and I’m having a tough time coming to terms with that.  I seem to forget the most obvious DUH factors working against me:

A.) I still have a HUGE amount of excess skin in my back and thighs

B.) My body has never been through this before.  I have LITERALLY gone from one extreme to the other with NO rest time in between for my body to even get used to being slim.  I went from massive weight loss to massive fat loss and bodybuilding…all while dragging my body along to try to catch up.

C.) I have NO clue what I am doing.  I’m not a professional, I’m not an athlete.  All I know is what my body tells me and what I have read over the years.

These are NOT excuses.  Just facts.

Here is the rest of what I DO know:

i.) I have busted my ass every single day for the last 5 years for this moment.

ii.) This is the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my entire life and I am SO proud of how hard I have pushed myself to get here.


When I was standing in the mirror 5 years ago in my XXXL granny panties wondering how the hell I was going to lose this damn weight, I NEVER imagined that I would find myself here…standing in my small granny panties, abs trying to peek out and counting down until I wear a bikini for the first time in front of a crowd of people.  I need to learn to look at this as a brand new start.  This is the start of something incredible.  I KNOW my body is capable of amazing things…look at how far it has come so far, who knows where I can go from here but I’m going to push myself as hard as I know how.  Just because I’m getting on that stage doesn’t mean this process is over…that marks the beginning of a whole NEW journey and if this last one is any indication of how this next one is going to go…I’m not only ready to grab it by the lady balls…I’m SO looking forward to it.


On a less serious note.  Yesterday was Shoulders / Chest / Tris.  I got a pretty good lift in before my hour on the treadmill

Smith machine military press

Smith machine bench press

Seated Lateral Raises

Tri-set Standing Front Raises

Tri-set Tricep Extensions

Barbell Skull Crushers

Seated DB press

Face pulls

Rear Delts on pec dec

Incline Chest Press

Seated Machine Lateral Raises (10×10)

Cable Tricep Push Downs

Cable Flys with a squeeze


Treadmill was 15 incline at 3.5 MPH.

Home for posing where John and I discovered that I have NO calves and pretty much everywhere but my upper body is lagging…hence the depressing entry today.  Everything from my tits up is looking AMAZING (minus the tits themselves… #fatlossproblems) but everything below is just not coming together.  I’m okay with that and am making detailed notes about what I need to focus on in the off season.  It’s just me to want to be amazing at everything I try and I am incredibly hard on myself when I’m not.

*keep focused*

*keep positive*

*keep kicking ass, stick with the plan and rock that fucking stage*



10 Days! 10 FREAKING DAYS!

DID YOU HEAR ME?!??!?! Only 10 days!

I’m terrified and nervous and like I’m going to cry and burst out of my skin all at once!  I want it to be here right now but I don’t want this process to be over yet!  I want to be at the gym ALL the time and I want to crawl into bed and relax every other moment!  haha confused yet?  This is just a fraction of what goes through my mind during the day!  Welcome to my roller coaster ride!

Feeling great today!  Started wrapping my tummy in plastic wrap yesterday (One of the silly things I read about in one of my bodybuilding books- don’t judge!) Hey, my tummy is dripping sweat into my crack and lady bits when I do AM cardio so the more sweat I can conjure up is OKAY with me!


Yesterday was back/biceps but volume, volume volume…and squeezing everything! that’s really the only way I can get a pump at all right about now

Assisted pull ups (100)

Wide Grip Pull Downs

Pull overs

Barbell Curls

Superset with Arnold Curls

John Meadows Rows

Bent Over Rows

Cable Bicep Curls

Hammer Curls

Low Rows


Hoist machine bicep curls 10×10

Then 30 minutes of HIIT on the treadmill and 30 minutes of LISS at 6.0 incline and 3.0 MPH

This morning was an hour on the treadmill at 15 incline at 3.5-4.0 MPH

Later is chesticles and triceps!

I still feel pretty good with the lower amount of calories.  I was able to get ALL of my food in yesterday which NEVER happens!  There is always food left over, so I think this means that I found a sweet spot!  I’m holding steady here until the weekend and we will see how my last set of progress pictures look.


Those poverty macros!!


Routine is ALMOST done, posing practice chugs along!  Weird fact about my body that John and I are trying to figure out…when I stand normally and just chit chat my abs look BANGING!  like seriously…. awesome!  and THEN! When I hit my pose and flex my abs until I feel like I’m going to piss myself…my abs go away!!!  WHAT THE EFF?!?!  Just another reason why my body is so odd!




12 days, 00 hours and 01 minutes from this very moment is the moment of reckoning!


This weekend was AMAZING! and very much needed!  I can’t even TELL you the last time I had a weekend just to RELAX and do NOTHING.  I’m a GO GO GO kind of person.  For those of you who have the… let’s say… “loving obligation” of being around me every single day you know this about me.  I’m always going from one thing to another to another.  This weekend …I just… relaxed!    My weekend focused on rest, posing, training, cardio, food and laundry…I mean c’mon what do you expect from me?! To just do NOTHING??  HA!!  NEVER!!

Sunday was my third emotional break down during this whole process.  THREE!  Hopefully the last one because they are NOT fun…ESPECIALLY when the ugly tears start!  I need to disconnect from Instagram and Facebook because I find myself scanning all of the pages I follow of the amazing athletes and women’s physique competitors and compare what MY body looks like to THEIR body this far out and start beating myself up that I don’t look as vascular, jacked and she-hulk like as they do.  I can’t let those thoughts get into my head!  I need to keep myself focused on ME and KILLING IT as best as I know how to.  Then…when I get on that stage I can tell myself that I gave it EVERYTHING I have.

Few changes going on for this week since I am TWO weeks away!  Did I happen to mention that that is 12 days?  Just a friendly reminder!

Baby we are down down down down down on calories!

1,100 this week!

124 grams of protein / 61 grams of fat / 14 grams of carbbies

This is what that looks like (I put all of the amounts into one big chunk instead of breaking it up into meals because I’m still doing my little but often technique.  I pack all of my food and eat what I can when I can until all my food is gone! This has helped a LOT with the gas and bloating because I haven’t had TOO much of an issue with the gas… my co-workers are SO relieved)

12 oz. shredded chicken (the big chunks of grilled chicken were getting a little overwhelming to eat)

6 hard boiled egg whites

4 slices Nitrate-free bacon

1 oz. raw almonds

4 oz. avocado

1/2 cup saurkraut

5 Asparagus spears

1 TBSP. olive oil

1 oz. Dried Cranberries (post workout)

Thrilling isn’t it?!  I have also started doing a shot of Apple Cider Vinegar with lemon juice first thing in the morning and after my last meal.  I think this also has helped calm my digestive issues.

GUM has been CUT OUT!  (painfully)

any artificial sweetners have been cut out (sadly)

Cardio is an hour in the AM fasted and an hour after my lift in the PM

Posing practice 2-3 times per day and working on my routine as MUCH as possible.  As of this morning the beginning, the middle and the end are all choreographed…now just the time in between needs some work.

Today was 30 minutes on the stairs PUSHING it and 30 minutes on the treadmill then routine practice

tonight is back and biceps!  We will see how this goes on the calories listed above!


I really understand what makes this sport so tough.  The physical aspect of it is demanding yes, but the body is so resilient, it can handle anything you push it through.  The MENTAL aspect of this sport is what makes it tough.  Your mind is constantly racing; do I look like I should at this point? am I doing everything I need to be doing to be 100% ready?  am I measuring everything okay? did I take all of my supplements I needed before my meal and after my meal?  why is my body making changes so slow??

The mind is a very crazy place and if you are not stable, confident and steadfast in who you are and what you want out of this process, I can see where some people can crack under the pressure and give up or even take it to the extreme of doing some damage.  This is a tough sport and when the going gets tough…the tough get going.


Let’s GO!


15 Days…I can do anything for 15 days


I truly believe in the words that I spout off like some cheesy motivational speaker when I say that “nothing is impossible.”  I believe that to the very core of everything I believe in.  I can do anything I set my mind to and this whole process is just proving that even more to myself.

Believe me, I’ve been reading about and have heard every single other person’s personal experience with contest prep and every single dirty detail of what they did wrong, what they did right, they peaked the day before, they were a zombie for 11 weeks yadda yadda yadda… I love hearing every single experience!  It’s unique to each person and each experience is a learning one and an opportunity to get even better than that point.

I love every second of this.  Monday, I really started to feel pooped and I know that this part of the process.  You keep doing what you have to do in order to do get to where you REALLY want to go.


Yesterday was LEGS!   I knew my strength would be pretty minimal so I really went for volume and feeling the squeeze so a LOT of holds

Leg Extensions (10 sets of 20 reps holding the last 10 at the top)

Seated Leg Curl with hold (10 sets of 10)

Hack Squat Forwards (10×10
superset Hack Squat Backwards (10×10 with a pause at the bottom to squeeze my hamstrings)

Seated Calf Raises (10×15)

superset with Tibia extensions (10×20)

Glute Bridges with barbell (10×10)

Glute Kick Backs (10×10) each side

40 minutes LISS on the treadmill 10 Incline and 3.0 MPH.  Thank goodness the treadmill keeps going no matter what because if it didn’t… I don’t know if I could have haha


Today is OFF from lifting (yes, sometimes I take off days too)  so I was able to sleep in a little this morning since I do cardio in the afternoon instead of a lift.  It felt like a VACATION this morning!  It was AMAZING!

I also have my medical clearance appointment today with the doctor for my surgery on June 10th.  Let’s hope all is as it should be shall we?

15 hours, 19 minutes and 33 seconds from this moment right now!!!



17 Days… PUSH IT!

push it…. doo dee doo… push it REAL GOOD!  who doesn’t love that song?!? honestly!

you read that right sirs and madams!  17 days to go!  Are you sick of my updates yet?  I can’t lie, it’s like a real life diary!  I love posting more often!  Keeps me looking forward to the next entry.


Yesterday was Monday!  Today is Tuesday and tomorrow is Wednesday.  Thus concludes our lesson for the day students!  haha Yesterday was 1 hour of cardio in the morning 30 minutes on the stairbeast of sprints and 30 minutes on the treadmill of MAX incline and 4.0 speed.  When I do my sprints on the stairs I crank the speed up as high as it goes and pray like hell that I don’t eat it and just go go go.  God is it exhausting but it hurts SO good!  I do 30 seconds balls to the wall all out and 1:30 back to regular speed and then go again and again and again.  I do all of my cardio fasted in the AM.

Yesterday was chest/arms/abs- abs were an epic FAIL!  I was SO frustrated with my body yesterday.  I had to go potty ALL afternoon like…. potty potty (ya feel me?) and for some reason my body gets so nervous to go in public so I couldn’t go at work all afternoon and I figured “okay.. just cork it until after the gym and I can go once I’m home in my own bathroom” well fast forward to getting to the gym and my body decides… hey we hate you… and I have to go SO I make my way to the locker room which is PACKED.  SO crowded, girls hanging out in the bathroom chit chatting and of course I sit down to go and NOTHING… mother EFF!  so again, cork it and just suck it up… literally…(haha EW!)

My belly is bloated to beyond pregnancy looking, I have to poop and now I have to lift AND do my 40 minutes of cardio.

Assisted Dips to start (when I do dips or pull ups I always do 100)

Incline chest press

Cable Flys

Machine Bicep Curls

Tricep Push Downs

Flys on pec dec

Skull Crushers

Bicep curls (I have no idea what they are called but I stand between the cables and pull towards my face)

superset with flys with iso hold (I held and held until I thought my tits would pop off)

Cable Bicep curls

superset tricep push downs with straight bar attachment

Finish with rope pull downs for abs and I made it 2 sets of 15 and ran to the bathroom.


Success there?  NO!  Okay fine, so I get to the treadmill and crank out my 40 minutes BARELY and JUST made it home!

I apologize to Talking Tom (who is my new friend at the gym who LOVES to talk) bless his heart he is SUCH a nice guy and I’m happy to chat it up with new friends at the gym but I was SO uncomfortable and in so much pain from holding it for so long that I kind of gave him short answers and didn’t engage in a conversation.  I’m sorry buddy!

Last night was posing practice with Johnny boy.  He is an AWESOME coach!  He had me go through quarter turns and mandatories a few times and I held each one for about 30 seconds and we ran through that 3 times.  I also started my routine which I am SO stoked for!  It is going to be so fun!


This morning was 30 minutes on the elliptical with sprints and 30 minutes on the treadmill at max incline and 4.0 speed and abs since I couldn’t do them yesterday!!!

5×15 weighted leg raises

5×15 wood choppers on each side

5 x 15 trunk twists on each side

5 x 10 leg lifts on the laying leg curl machine (KILLER)


today is delts and calves so I will update!


Macros are set at 1300 calories

50% protein (163 grams)

40% fat (58 grams)

10% carbs (33 grams)

Foods are still the same; chicken, eggs, green beans, spinach, avocado, sesame oil, olive oil and spices.

Water has been high, salt intake has been back to normal.  This week I have cut out ALL extras like the dairy in my coffee, splenda in my coffee and tea as well as the supplements I don’t really feel I need.  I’m still taking:

Fat burner

Multi vitamin

Fish oils


Iron, Zinc, Biotin, Magnesium and potassium

Veggie Caps



Check out my ab shot from posing last night!!!!  I’m still shocked that this is me.  It hasn’t registered yet when I look in the mirror that the body I’m looking at is mine.  I’m SO proud of myself.  I hate to toot my own horn but… HONK HONK… I’m awesome!



19 Days Out…is this real life??


well well well…we meet again! For those of you who do NOT have the count down clock on your phone (…rude) we are now 19 days, 13 hours and 30 minutes… oh wait…29 minutes from this very moment.  It hasn’t even hit me yet that this is reality.  I am SO beyond excited!  This whole process has been such a great new adventure…I’m having a total blast!  Yes, it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  Yes, it is getting harder to juggle everything I do.  Yes, I have my days where I find it a lot more challenging to motivate myself than others…BUT who said that every adventure had to be smooth sailing?  who wrote the book that states that in order to have a “blast” you have to be having a jolly old time every second.  I never heard those things so…never happened.


I knew this upcoming weekend was going to be a doozie with events going on.  Friday, I took a half day from work to get everything organized for a road trip to Indiana for my beautiful friend Steph’s bridal shower of which I offered to do all of the food for.  After the shower I had to drive back to Chicago for my family friend Cori and Monze’s wedding reception and then first thing Sunday morning was a posing seminar for UFE so… I spread myself a bit thin.

Friday morning I did an hour of cardio; 30 minutes of sprints on the stairs and 30 minutes of steady state on max incline and 3.7 MPH on the treadmill.  After work I went to a new gym location for some back and bi’s.  (I like going to different locations…keeps things exciting and fresh)

Back/Bicep Workout

Wide grip pull ups on assisted pull up machine

Wide Grip lat pull downs behind head

Close Grip pull downs with iso hold

Seated cable rows with underhand grip

Arnold Curls superset with barbell curls

Isolated bicep curls superset with hammer curls

Shrugs with squeeze

Low Rows

Bent over rows

Machine bicep curls 10×10

Finished with 30 minutes on the elliptical




After my workout it was time to go grocery shopping for all of the food and get home to get cooking.  I ended up pulling an all nighter and had to leave early to get to the gym for AM cardio before my long ride to Indiana.  I got 1 hour on the treadmill at 10 incline and 3.0 speed in and headed for Indy!  On the long ride, I found myself getting bored and realized that I don’t know too many exercises I could do while sitting in a car and decided on Kegels…the trip TO indy and BACK has made me the worlds strongest vagina!

I planned ahead of time that Saturday was going to be my day off from lifting and so I kept calories a little lower than usual, kept fats a bit higher and cut all veggies but the lettuce with lunch salad.  The shower was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!  Steph looked gorgeous, there was a lot of laughs, gushing over the beautiful bride, stories of when we were all in college and an over pouring of friendship, love and hugs.

Beautiful bride and her maids

Beautiful bride and her maids

Quick costume change and I was heading home for Cori’s wedding reception.  Singing at the top of my lungs, drinking my water and…..TRAFFIC!  No, not just traffic…a PARKING LOT!  FIVE hours later…I made it home, missed the wedding and was absolutely exhausted so it was a blessing in disguise.

Got some sleep, woke up this morning and got in an hour on the stairs with the first 25 minutes being sprints on the 2 minute for 30 seconds.  I started watching Frankie and Grace on Netflix…OMG!  people probably think I’m CRAZY for the cracking up I was doing on the stairs!

The seminar was AWESOME!!!  My whole experience with UFE has been so wonderful!  Everyone from the PRESIDENT, to the Pro level competitors and the fellow newbies have been so warm and friendly and welcoming.  There is NO sense of competition but of camaraderie!  Everyone encourages, supports and motivates each other. I love it!  It was amazing to have one-on-one help with my poses since that is the one thing I really haven’t been as disciplined about and KNOW that that is SO important, but I haven’t been quite sure WHAT to practice.  Getting the input and feedback I got today was AMAZING!  I feel like I’m MUCH more prepared to really practice posing in a way that will make me feel prepared on stage!

UFE posing seminar crew

UFE posing seminar crew

After the seminar I went home for a little birthday bash with my dad who my mom brought home from his home.  My uncle came over which was so special that he took the time to come see my dad.  I always love hearing stories about my dad when he was younger…makes me miss him even more but feel so grateful that I was blessed with such a wonderful man.


Today was LEGGIES!!!!!  I was behind on my meals and Lo and I were a little pressed for time but we put in some good work

Leg Extensions

Hack Squat- Front and Back

Abductors (10×20)

Adductors (10×20)

Laying Leg Curls (wide legs and legs together)

Home to take the leg humper for a long walk.  Later will be posing practice and EARLY crash!

This week, my calories will stay the same.  I will still do the same split and increase cardio to 1 hour in the morning and 40 minutes in the afternoon after my lift.  I am going to make my workouts more focused so I am there for an hour of an hour and a half TOPS so I’m not there for 3-4 hours and burn myself out.

Progress pictures coming tomorrow for this week.  SLOWLY coming together.  I’m feeling INCREDIBLE!  Every now and then I feel tired or a little moody but I think I have been pretty good so far during this process.  Only TWO emotional breakdowns!  I consider that a HUGE success!

These next three weeks I have made myself the promise to not plan ANYTHING.  I REALLY need to focus on training, posing and rest.  Those are my priorities for the next 19 days.

Let the week begin!


22 Days- This is not a drill…

Well I think today is the first day of feeling the diet and training!  Before I start being a little bitch and complaining let me give the run down of yesterday’s training!


Yesterday after work I met with my most favorite Asian and we hit chest/arms/abs

Incline bench for warmup

Cable Tricep Push Downs

superset Cable Bicep Curls

Chest Pec Dec w/ Iso Hold

Superset Chest Press

Side 1 Arm Cable Bicep Curls

Superset Tricep Extensions

Cable Chest Press

Superset Cable Flys with iso hold

Bicep Curls

Superset Assisted Dips

Rope Pull Downs

Leg Raises on leg ext. machine

Wood Choppers (heavy)


My method of training has morphed into something very different than it used to be when I first started lifting, it might be considered a bit “unorthadox” but when have I ever claimed to follow suit with the rest of the world? Anyone?  Bueller?  Exactly!

At the beginning, I followed the standard 3-5 sets of 8-12 reps with moderate-heavy weights and I did okay with that while I was still learning and really just there to check out the hot asses at the gym.  BUT, as I have been getting deeper into my love affair with lifting I find that it has become most important for me to really listen to my muscles, let them be my coach and focus on that mind/muscle connection.  I have noticed that I close my eyes a lot when I am in the middle of a set because it helps me really focus on the muscles contracting and I have grown to LOVE that feeling PLUS the pump is absolutely pumpgasmic!  (haha you like that?! I JUST thought of that)

During this whole prep I don’t go into the gym thinking: “Okay woman…you’re going to do 4 sets of 12 reps and you’re going to kill it.”  I pick my lifts for that day based on what I did or didn’t do last time I hit that group of muscles and what I think needs to be focused on for that workout,  I pick a weight that is pretty easy for the first set and crank out slow, controlled reps as a warm up to wake up those beasts.  Then it’s time to go to WORK.  I will pyramid weights, use iso holds to really squeeze those muscles, partial reps, drop sets… I utilize all of the tools that I know of to really hit that muscle and feel it working.  The wedgie picking in between sets is always mandatory.  When the muscle starts to burn, that set is over, I wait for about 30 seconds and go again.  I do this until the muscle is almost at failure and go to the next exercise.  I keep track of the weight I use when I’m at the heaviest and I keep track of what exercises I do and of course keep count so I’m doing the same on both sides (lopsided muscles are no-bueno).


Call me crazy, call me clueless… call me anything you like… it works for me and my homies…aka my muscles!  Oh and Kevin!  Who is the little vein I have noticed taking up residence in my forearm!  Yes, I named it!

After the gym yesterday I went home and took the leg humper for a walk for 30 minutes of cardio and practiced posing.  Then a LONG HOT BATH was very much needed!

This morning was an hour of fasted cardio which consisted of 30 minutes on the stairs and 30 minutes on the treadmill.  I have been wearing my big, heavy sweaters during cardio to really get a good sweat going (Side note- I don’t really sweat that much when I lift…odd).  I was SUPER light headed on the treadmill but still plodded on!  During the day today I was still really drained and took a nap in my car during lunch.  I know I am pushing it really hard and yesterday didn’t get all of my calories in so that could have something to do with it.    This process gets a bit more stressful when work is so stressful.  I’m go go go all day long and eat at my desk when I can get a mouthful in and find that my food really just ends up sitting out all day.  AH!  So I do need to be more conscious of that moving forward.

Today is shoulders!  Which is one of my favorites!  I NEED the gym after a day like today at work.  You know those days where nothing is going right, the phone is ringing off the hook, you can’t even catch your breath and all you really want to do is take a nap?!  Yeah… that has been my week but today was just magnified because I was tired and hungry… THUS ENDS MY BITCHING SESSION!


I also have to really put more focus on my posing!  I pose in front of the mirror almost every single day but I need to really utilize posing as a way to build my endurance for when I am on stage and have to hold these poses for god only knows how long.  Not only that but I was supposed to start my posing routine for the night show TWO WEEKS ago and all I have been doing is checking myself out! haha




23 Days Out- I’m a huge asshole

you know… it’s amazing what kind of self reflection happens during morning cardio!  I think the lack of food just means that more juices can be flowing in the brain!  Juicy!

I’ve determined that I’m a huge asshole…and for that…I apologize!  Here I am inviting everyone to follow me on this incredible journey aaaaaaand I’m not even sharing this experience.  I have been posting every two weeks ONLY when my progress pictures are acceptable to me and I feel I look good in them.  Well…that’s not what this journey is about.  This has been messy, dirty, less than perfect and absolutely wonderful all at the same time!  I want all of that to be shared and I’m sorry that I have stepped away from detailing every single dirty detail of this process.


Currently, I am 23 days, 23 hours and 50 minutes away from stepping on the stage for the FIRST time.  I have been keeping a journal on but I want to keep a daily journal HERE, in my OWN space, my OWN world where I can say what I want, when I want and exactly how I want to say it.  Below is the link to the journal I have been keeping on which details each workout, diet, ups and downs… HOWEVER… check here for the daily update from now until show time…good, bad, ugly, tight like a tight and everything in between.


Saturday, May 9th marked 4 weeks out until the show!  I got my bikini in the mail from the wonderful and incredible Jodi Bruce with Fitwear Designs who is graciously donating her time and efforts to make the suit for me and it. is. STUNNING!!!!!  In all  honesty, I’m terrified of the bikini situation.  My lady bits are a little saggy (plastic surgeons don’t usually do a lady lip tuck) I have been having this nightmare where I get on stage in my teenie weenie bikini and go to hit a front double bicep pose and my lady lips are hanging on either side of the bikini…. TERROR!  so thank goodness Jodi took care of that with a little extra material!  PHEW!

I have been keeping steady with 1300 calories this week and will keep it at 1300 until this Saturday, May 16 and assess how I’m looking and determine then if I want to decrease those a little bit.

Macros have been 50% protein, 40% fats and 10% carbs.

Protein sources have been pretty boring (I just make them exciting with my FABULYSS flare in how I make them! mwahaha)  Chicken, Eggs, Salmon, Tuna and Beef 1-2 times per week have made up most of my protein and this week I have added ground turkey just to keep things exciting haha (my life is clearly very boring).

Fat sources have come from the fatty fish, coconut oil, avocado, sesame oil and the occasional spoon full of natural peanut butter (please see the post “Ode to Natty Peanut Butter” to understand my dirty and inappropriate love affair with this beautiful creation).

Carbs have come from veggies.  I’ll do kale, green beans and have been making broccoli pancakes out of broccoli (I have an easier time digesting the broccoli when I grind it up in the food processor instead of when it is in it’s full form…plus… pancakes…duh!)

Cardio has been increased this week to 60 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon.  I have been watching Cupcake Wars on Netflix in the morning (don’t judge!)

Training has remained the same through this entire prep.  My split has been:

Day 1- Legs

Day 2- Chest/Arms

Day 3- Delts

Day 4- Legs

Day 5- Back/Biceps

Day 6- Rest


Liver Ultrasound came back squeeky clean!  I have a liver YAY me!

Swelling in my ankles/lower body has gone down a LOT since I saw the doctor.  I think the excessive amount of water (2 gallons+ per day), cutting out salt from my diet and being on my feet all day all rolled into one bad idea.  SO!  I have been sitting a bit more during work, decreased water a tad and slowly increased salt back into my diet.  I’ve also been drinking dandelion root tea during the day just to flush out any extra fluids and because plain water is BORING after a while

Yesterday was Legs!!!  I had a bit of an issue with my meals because I’m a dumbass and brought eggs to work from SATURDAY which I reheated.  Needless to say they were beating me up from the inside all morning, I was MISERABLE!  Not sure if I was going to puke my guts up or shit my dress at work but eventually, once I got to the gym I was okay BUT I had no fuel in my body for the workout so I made it a high volume leg day and REALLY focused on the mind/muscle connection I did 10×10 of EVERYTHING with weight that was tough by rep 8-9

Leg Extension warm up

Leg Press superset with calf pumps

Seated Calf Raises



Laying Leg Curls

Leg Extensions

Glute Bridges (on leg ext.) which I LOVE!  I saw someone do that on Insta and while I don’t get into position as flawlessly as she did… the squeeze was OUT OF THIS WORLD!  (you’re welcome glutes)

Glute Kickbacks

Bulgarian Split Squats

Finished it up with another round of Leg Extensions…just to show my legs who is boss!


Below are the photos from Saturday.  AND!  my first “AM AB CHECK” from this morning!  I’ve never done an AB check before!  This was pretty exciting!  I’m not sure if my body is “where it needs to be” or if my body is “ready” but I feel AMAZING!  I’ve never felt so strong and able and just good.  This has been the hardest, most frustrating, most incredibly exciting and challenging experience of my life and I’m loving every single minute of it!


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