Monthly Archives: February 2014



PHEW! Oh it feels SO much better to get that off my chest!  Now that we have put that out there I can speak the truth.


I am VERY proud of myself for the changes I have made in my life.  I look back and remember the horrible habits I had at my biggest and I almost make myself throw up in my nose thinking about it.  While most of the bad habits; Venti Hot Chocolates and two scones from Starbucks, Fast food multiple times a day, my own bodyweight in mashed potatoes… shall I go on?  While those are all gone I would by lying if I said I haven’t found a few other bad habits along the way.


Since starting to train differently and eat differently, I started modifying habits in order to slowly get rid of the habits all together.  Most of them have been kicked to the curb but there are a few that I’m still trying to work on.  Since training I have found a love of Caffeine!  Oh my goodness sweet, sweet caffeine! Caffeine pills, coffee, pre-workouts… I Love them ALL!  Not only that but artificial sweeteners have found a place in my life as well.  These are the two BIGGEST habits I need to get rid of.  I can’t imagine the sweeteners doing ANYTHING good for my body and the caffeine, while it gives me a good kick and helps get me through a tough workout after a LONG day of work, can’t be doing anything good for my body either! They need to change.

Let’s be honest with each other shall we? I feel that we are in that place.  This lifestyle is HARD!  It is such a drastic change from where I used to be.  4 years ago I had NO control at all over what I was eating, 2 years ago I was eating just healthier and better foods to lose the weight and now I’m painfully controlling over what I eat to the OUNCE and know the caloric value of every single thing that goes in my mouth.  I know that that is the reason that not every single person in the world is able to sustain this type of lifestyle.   While it is a struggle, while I have days that are really hard, days where I miss the sugar, the fatty, greasy, salty, fried foods so much that I can almost taste them I HAVE to keep telling myself that I deserve this.  I OWE this to myself.  I have come too far to give into the bad habits that try to find me.  There will ALWAYS be temptation and it is so easy to give into that temptation but I think my real strength and gift to myself is resisting that temptation and proving to myself that I am better, stronger and more powerful than the temptation that looms over us like a creepy mouth breather at a night club.

I have to change the way I see this lifestyle and instead of seeing it as things I CAN’T have… or things that I’ll NEVER eat again I need to see it as things that I CAN have.  New tastes, textures and types of foods that I may never have experienced before.  I know what French fries taste like, I know what a Blizzard from the Queen tastes like but there are so many fresh, organic and healthy foods out there that I have never experienced that I need to start adding into my life to make this feel like an even BETTER lifestyle than it already is.

Yesterday, I realized that I have had chicken to eat every single day for the last year… while chicken is a great food and I can cook it like a BOSS, there is more to this lifestyle than just eating chicken.  It doesn’t have to be chicken and eggs… it can be as creative as I can make it! That makes me excited to keep pushing, keep changing and make those old habits die hard!!


PROGRESS PICTURES BELOW!  These are as of today.  Not quite where I want to be this close to the competition but I’m not going to give up.  I’m going to keep pushing myself.

DoubleBi 2.23.14 Back 2.23.14 Front 2.23.14


Well what a whirl-wind of adventures this past month has brought on!


For those of you creepers / loving lovers who only know me as far as my random Facebook posts and Blog updates the last time we came together I had just returned from Israel and was heading to beautiful Phoenix, Arizona for a month for work.


Well……. Here we are, my flip-flops have been put away and the car scraper tool has been brought back out and put to work.


While in Phoenix not only was I in paradise with the gorgeous weather but I was able to explore the city and surrounding towns for the first time ever!  Scottsdale was my favorite area.  The shopping is fantastic and there are some great restaurants.   A very special shout out to my two friends Anna Z. and Bobby B. for showing me around and driving me to desired destinations!  You two made it a great stay.


Unfortunately, my job called and decided to cut my stay short.  Instead of staying for 5 weeks, I was only allowed to stay for 3 weeks.  Needless to say I was PIOOOSSED!  BUT  things truly do happen for a reason.  Some of you may not know but before leaving for Israel I was offered a great promotion at another hotel around the corner from where I am now.  I turned it down.  The day that my property called me in Phoenix, the property offering me the promotion called again asking me to reconsider.  I always believe that things happen for a reason and while I was very disappointed in my property for cutting short an incredible opportunity for me I believe that that opened the door for me to take this job that I have worked VERY hard for and feel that I deserve.  I also look at it this way… this position is an incredible opportunity and if I don’t take the opportunity than someone else will.  That means that someone ELSE is moving forward in their career and I’m still stuck at a job that I don’t love.  I would really regret that and we all know how I feel about regrets! (NOT IN MAH HOUSE).


So…. Long story short… I HAVE A NEW JOB!!!! IN SALES!!! FINALLY!!!!!! My new position starts February 17th and I can’t wait to get started.  Just like any new opportunity I am nervous about the change but I KNOW in my gut that I am meant to do this.


BUT!!!! Enough about that business.  Let’s get down to training and lifestyle and what is happening there shall we?  My last post went into detail about how difficult it was to train and eat well while traveling overseas…THIS post will be about how difficult it is to train and eat while living in a hotel for three weeks! (Can’t a girl catch a break!?)  I can’t lie… ordering room service every night and not having to make my own bed was a beautiful way of life for those weeks and I miss it very much!  Mom wasn’t too happy when I tried to call her to order my dinner the other night to have it brought up to my room (I would have tipped well… sheesh!)


The hotel I was living in was located in Downtown Phoenix which was a great location… I could walk EVERYWHERE!  The first thing I did before I even opened my bags when I got there was walk to the Golds Gym that was 3 blocks away.  While I knew that bodybuilding was not a cheap sport, paying $100.00 for a 1 month pass seemed a bit steep.  What am I going to do STEAL exercise?! I even flashed….. my DIMPLES (haha) and that didn’t help…maybe I’m losing my touch.  I paid it anyway.


The second stop I made was to take a cab to the nearest grocery store to get some chicken and necessities for my hotel room.  The hotel was kind enough to give me a fridge the size of a microwave and yet…no microwave!  I had to fight the housekeepers every day in the employee dining room for the microwave.  So I had to get creative.  I got pre-cooked chicken, almonds, beef jerky and brought half of my luggage allowance weight in protein powder and quest bars.  With a $65.00 a day per diem on food I figured if I could get myself through breakfast and lunch on what I bought and ordered room service for dinner that it would all even out. (Come on, I’m a Jew…the money thing just comes naturally like a sixth sense).


My coach has me on a cutting diet now to get ready for the contest (ON FOR JUNE 7TH!!) The diet I am on has me on 500 calories one day and 1,500 calories the next day.  I lift 4 days a week with moderate cardio and have three days a week with high intensity cardio.  Due to the strict dietary and money allowance situation I actually ended up losing 6 pounds in Phoenix.  YAY!


So here I am, back into my groove of home, my OWN gym, my OWN food (which I have to make myself- DAMN IT), and my OWN bed…(which I also have to make myself).  The diet is going well.  There are moments on the 500 calorie days where I want to gnaw my hand off and I have absolutely had moments of weakness but I keep telling myself that come June I NEED to know that I did EVERYTHING I could to look my best on stage.


A few things that have been weighing on my mind though:

(1)    With another plastic surgery coming in August (thighs and bingo wings/back titties)- After my scheduled competition in June.  I’m wondering if maybe I’m being too optimistic.  I’m the first one to admit that there are jibbily bits that just don’t go back to where they came from after major weight loss and am I really ballsy enough to squeeze those jibbly bits into a teenie weenie bikini on-stage knowing that my body isn’t EXACTLY how I want it to look???


(2)    Forgiveness—Just because I have changed my lifestyle doesn’t mean I have said goodbye to all of the cravings, thoughts and habits that sneak into my life and have to battle every day .  There have been days where I grab an extra dunk of Peanut Butter, or an extra bite of a banana and even *GASP* a piece of chocolate to satisfy a sweet tooth.  I get SO angry with myself!  I have to learn a good balance between forgiving myself for making those slips and not making those slips too often.


Below is a picture from the other day when I put on my size 6 jeans and they FIT.  Not only do they fit but nothing is hanging over the sides!!!   ALSO a leg shot I got last night…While my weight has not gone down since coming home, I feel like my body is getting a bit tighter.  I started to see my shoulders, a bit more of my back and EVERY now and then after a really good bathroom session I can see a bit of abs YAY!


Stay tuned for more updates on my journey from Bariatrics to Bodybuilding.  Also, if you haven’t already- follow me on Instagram for updates and awkward moment pictures (fitnfabulyss).