Monthly Archives: June 2013

When it’s good… it’s ALL good!

I’ve noticed that to be true!  When you feel good, when you feel you look good, when you feel healthy then everything is just GOOD.  Let’s be cereal here for a second… I don’t have the most exciting life anymore (for SURE not as exciting as working with male strippers in Las Vegas) BUT I’ll say this… my life is REALLY good.  I feel GREAT, work is great, family is great… everything just starts to fall into place when you feel good and when you take great care of yourself.

My new diet is going really great!  WHO KNEW that I could actually LOSE weight by eating more carbs.  I always thought carbs were the enemy! Those evil creatures who needed to be avoided like the black plague.  Since I started with my diet coach (CHALLAH TO DR. JOE K!) I eat sweet potatoes, Quinoa, Steel Cut Oats… actual CARBS!  I’ve been on this Gluten Free kick lately and I really enjoy it.  I don’t feel as bloaty and uncomfortable and gasy as I did before!

Training is going great as well.  I can see the difference in my body but more importantly I FEEL the difference in my body.  I feel strong inside and out.  I feel myself being able to lift heavier and heavier AND!!! GUESS WHAT?! ? I am starting to see VEINS in my arms!!!! WHEE!!! This means that I’m losing body fat!

Currently, I am 5 pounds away from my goal weight.  I wanted to be 155 when I got on the operating table (IN 53 days…but who is counting?!) If I get on the table at 145 that wouldn’t be the WORST thing in the world!

I decided to see a therapist before I go in for plastic surgery.  Why you ask?  Well that is an excellent question fine reader.  I think that there are still left overs of “fat girl syndrome” laying around in my mind…I can feel her lurking around.  I want to meet with a crazy doctor just to make sure that I am in the right frame of mind going into surgery.  I’ve been working SO hard to make my body as healthy as possible I almost totally forgot that my mind needs to be JUST as healthy if not more so.

Being large my ENTIRE life I became used to looking at myself one way in the mirror and it is still weird not seeing that girl in the mirror anymore.  Sometimes it takes me a few minutes to recognize myself in pictures because I’m just used to the puffy cheekies and gigantic boobies.

I found my old size 26 jeans while going through my closet this weekend and I can’t lie… I cried.  For a few reasons.  I cried out of anger, out of shame and out of happiness.  I was so angry that I let myself get that bad… Incredibly shameful that I abused my gorgeous body to that point but overwhelming happiness that I will never be there ever again.

I may not have everything perfect yet.  I still crave French Fries and you know what… sometimes I let myself have them.  I still sometimes feel that big girl looking back at me in the mirror and there are times when I still fear food and what it did to me in the past… but when things are GOOD… those things fade away and don’t make as big of an impact as they once would have.

It’s all GOOD!

 

Progress pictures from this morning below ( Thank you mommy Remaly for getting out of bed to take my pictures!) Below those pictures is where I was last August.

 

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August13

Week One!  August 2012